Whatever Happened to Cellulite!

The truth versus false news presents us with a set of questions. What am I being sold here? By whom? And who benefits if I buy into this?  But even within the bounds of legitimate news, there are questions that continue to plague us.

Take, for example,  “Whatever happened to cellulite?” We used to hear a lot about it. You could get it at all the leading stores. You could get cellu-lite or cellu-classic. There was “the heartbreak of cellulite” and Carter’s Little Cellulite Pills. There was even a commercial on TV in which a lady, Cellulara Peller, I think her name was, pulled up to a drive-in window and shouted, “Where’s the cellulite?”

But it’s been such a long time since I’ve heard about cellulite, I recently wondered if it is still around. It’s one of the few maladies I’ve never suffered. You wouldn’t know it exists from my experience. I’m almost sure it’s still around, though. The world is wider than my experience, which is a truth more people ought to live by.

Cellulite – with us yet or no longer a concern? – recently popped into my mind after I heard the Mayor of San Juan Capistrano, I think it was, talk about how Puerto Rico is still suffering economic and infrastructure damage, not to mention being in the dark due to loss of power, from some hurricane – I forget the name, but I think it was a female rather than male– way back in 2017. 2017 was what? A year or so ago? That’s a lot of news cycles. Who can remember?

But if the devastation of a hurricane lingers – as does the damage of forest fires –  maybe also the reality of cellulite. Can it be the case that we just haven’t heard about it lately? It’s still there, but when it comes to the news, no cure has been found. No recent study has been published. No advertising funds are available to purchase airtime for that new product, Cellu-Nake Oil. There’s too a weak lobby in Washington to pass a bill. There’s been a change in leadership of the National Cellulite Research Foundation. On and on the reasons so of why I haven’t heard of it lately.

And it’s not just cellulite. We’re often in the dark about a lot of things.

I recently read an article about how the average person approaching retirement has $143 in savings. One of the conditions I do suffer from is called “decimal point misalignment”, so it may have been $1.43. Now that I think about it, it was more like $60,143.  Whatever amount, it seems to me like our nation is in deep cock-a-doodle-doo if this is true.

If Puerto Rico is still a disaster, wait until you see the coming mess. For example, America’s workforce won’t be able to drive home of an evening because the 4:30p.m. dinner line at the Senior Citizen Soup Kitchen winds for miles, blocking major arteries.

But speaking of a workforce stuck in drive-home traffic, it won’t be near the workforce we have today.  For if and when seniors have no purchasing power, they’re not going to buy newspapers – who else will? – and newspapers aren’t going to sell advertising space, and advertisers are going to sell fewer products, and product manufacturers are going to manufacture fewer goods, and none of this is much good for the criminal element, either. If senior citizens don’t have money, the number of people working as scam artists will be drastically cut back. The days of Nigerian royalty are doomed.

Every day the news makes us aware of problems. These problems make us think, “Something has to be done!” But a couple of days later, all is forgotten. We respond to problems that one day may eat us alive by simply forgetting them, which is the problem with real news. Cellulite is still there. It’s just that those of us not directly affected tend to forget about it…Also tend to forget lots of facts and details.


3 thoughts on “Whatever Happened to Cellulite!”

  1. Jr.
    I mean, what DID happen to cellulite??
    They used to even have Pictures in Magazines of large inner thighs, Replete
    with cellulite. The heartbreak represented
    I think there IS a lesson here.
    Good to be reminded of it.

    Sent from my iPhone


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