Computers say the strangest things. My computer screen says things like, “Tomorrow is Easter Day…All Day Long.” Same with Valentines, New Years, Thanksgiving, etc. What happened? Do we now have a bunch of half-day holidays? Or hourly holidays?
I have a great search engine – I call it “The Little Search Engine That Could” – but I cannot find a list of anything but day-long or longer holidays. For example, there is Take Your Chia Pet to Work Day, Netflix Binge-Watch Week, Septic Tank Health Awareness Month, and the Chinese even have The Year of the Rat.
All of these are good – otherwise they wouldn’t be on the calendar, right? – but given the excessive length of these celebrations, there isn’t time to take part in it all. There are happenings we need to celebrate, things we need to emphasize, and matters of which we need to be aware that are falling through the cracks. How to celebrate it all?
My “Little Search Engine that Could” did find a human resources company called Zenefits, which says it does not support half-day holidays. And why would it say such a thing if there wasn’t a movement afoot to promote half-day holidays or less? Because Zenefits knows that employers aren’t going to give employees additional time off for additional celebrating. It’s futile to even ask for more holidays.
But what if we multi-holidayed? We multi-task. We can multi-holiday. And by breaking our existing holidays into half-day holidays or hourly holidays we can get much more celebrating on the calendar. In fact, why devote a whole day to some of the things we do celebrate?
For example, think about the first holiday of the year. “It’s New Year’s Day, Yea!” But really, do we have to stay in our Yea mood all day long? How about we combine New Year’s with a few other holidays? For an extra couple of hours in the morning, we could observe “Festival of Sleep Day”. Given that New Year’s Eve was the night before, it makes sense.
Once we get out of bed, we could observe “Fruitcake Toss Day”. It would only take a few minutes, and we’d feel really good about ourselves. At that point all the really good pies, cakes, and cookies from Christmas are gone. Later in the day, we won’t be tempted to compromise our standards by eating fruitcake because it’s the only thing left in the fridge. Toss it! And do so before you cut you a piece with the chisel you got for Christmas.
Once we’ve tossed the fruitcake, we can go to the outdoor swimming pool or the lake shore or the sea shore and observe “Polar Bear Plunge Day”, which is always on Jan. 1. While we are doing this, let’s also be careful and observe “Hypothermia Awareness Month.” At this point we also might add to our celebration a summer emphasis observed by only the finest swimming pools, “We Don’t Swim in Your Toilet, So Don’t Pee in Our Pool Month”.
Do you see how this principle works? By setting aside a half-day or an hour during a holiday we already observe, we can get in many additional celebrations, emphases, and awarenesses. Let’s see how it might work out on Valentine’s Day.
February is “Heart Awareness Month,” which fits in well with our Valentine cards. We can add it without missing a beat. What you may not know is that February is also “Oral Hygiene Awareness Month”. Again, with all the kissing going on, it’s no bother to add this second awareness. One of the days prior to Valentine’s is “Thank Your Mailman Day”. How about giving him or her a big old smooch? This tends to go better, of course, if both parties are not married. At the best it could be the beginning of lifelong relationship, at worst it could be the occasion for one of your friends to observe “Bail Out a Friend Day”.
February 14 is not only Valentine’s day, it is also “Library Lovers Day”. I suppose if you don’t have a date for that evening, you could check out your local library. See if there is anyone hanging around the stacks with whom you might like to go to dinner. And don’t forget your dog. Dogs need love too, which is why there is “International Dog Biscuit Day” in February. A heart shaped one is obviously preferred.
And if you are so busy that you forget to purchase your loved one a traditional Valentine’s gift, February is also when we celebrate “Tell a Fairy Tale Day”. Make up a good one.