How Far Can a Guy Fall?

Given all the men who have been toppled from positions of power in 2017 by women lodging complaints of inappropriate sexual advances, I am reminded of the following conversation which took place a number of years ago in my hometown of Roswell, NM.

Terry went in Ray’s Lawnmower Shop one afternoon to pick up his mower. Ray had called earlier. It was ready. “How’s it going?” he asked Ray.

“I just got back from New York. Got a great deal on a plane ticket.”

“That’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. I had a terrible seat.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. A cute blond flight attendant let me move to a better one.”

“That’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. She wouldn’t give me her phone number.”

“That’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. Later when I got up to go to the restroom, I caught her thinking about it.”

“That’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. She thought so little of it that she slapped my face.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. I stepped backward and she barely grazed me.”

“That’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. I backed into an emergency door, it opened, and I fell out.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. I was wearing a parachute.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. It didn’t open.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No that’s good. I was falling into a big haystack.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“No, that’s bad. There was a pitchfork sticking straight up at me.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. I missed the haystack and was falling into a swimming pool.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“No that’s bad. I hit the diving board, bounced back up and bumped my head on the luggage compartment before landing in my seat. See this cut?”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No, that’s good. If I hadn’t bounced back up, I would have never made it to New York.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“No that’s bad. I didn’t think much of New York.”

“Oh, that’s bad.”

“No that’s good. The flight attendant was so glad I wasn’t hurt that she gave me a kiss.”

“That’s good. So, I guess you feel a deep kinship with things that go bounce.”

“I really do.”

“Then you’re going to love my check,” said Terry.

From  Down to Earth in Roswell, “Ray’s Trip to New York.”





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