Where They Are Now.

Do you remember Charlie Brown? Sure you do. He first came to our attention in the winter of 1959. In fact, the Coasters tribute to him rose to #2 on the charts in March of that year.

Few of us knew him personally, but we all knew someone like him. Listen to how the Coasters described him.

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum, I smell smoke in the auditorium. Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s a clown, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna get caught, just you wait and see. (Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?)

That’s him on his knees, I know that’s him. Yeah, from 7 come 11 down in the boys’ gym. Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s a clown, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna get caught, just you wait and see. (Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?)

Who’s always writing on the wall? Who’s always goofing in the hall? Who’s always throwing spit balls? Guess who? Yeah, you. (Who, me?)

Who walks in the classroom, cool and slow? Who calls the English teacher Daddy-O? Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s a clown, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna get caught. Just you wait and see. (Why’s everybody always pickin’ on me?)    This Verse Twice.

We now know through several online profiles that Charles Brown turned 18 on January 1, 1959. That makes him 76-years old presently, one of the youngest residents of Los Locos Assisted Living facility in Los Lunas, NM.

And why isn’t he living on his own? Well, breathing all that smoke from setting fires in the auditorium didn’t do his lungs any good. His knees are shot from all that dice shooting. Goofing in the hall, which became a lifelong habit, has denied him sufficient exercise. You can’t always be throwing spit balls without someone returning fire with a zip-gun or a Saturday night special. Not only was Charlie “always writing on the wall,” but we should have seen the writing on the wall back in 1959. Such an unhealthy lifestyle can lead to severe health problems.

About his present life at Los Locos Assisted Living facility, where he rides about on a souped-up mobility scooter, a group of vocal residents and staff have composed the following song.

Fe-fe, fi-fi, fo-fo, fum, I smell burnt rubber in the atrium. Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s still a clown, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna run us over, tomorrow or today. (Why can’t everybody just get out of my way?)

That’s him shuffling cards, he has his own deck. Playing poker in the rec room, winning pension checks. Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s never down, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna lose big, that’s what we want to see. (Why can’t everybody just root one time for me?)

Who’s writing on the men’s stall? The names of ladies living down the hall. Who always throws his meatballs? Guessed right! Food  fight! (What me?) 

Who rolls in the dining room, cool and slow. Who dissed the chef as the Queen of Green Jello? Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown, he’s unsound, that Charlie Brown. He’s gonna get evicted, just you wait and see. (Why’s everybody always blaming it on me?)

It’s always good to know where they are now, and how little they’ve changed since the good old days.

 

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